Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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