Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
