i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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