yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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