I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
