i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
