So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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