Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
