i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
