im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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