Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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