remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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