Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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