I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
