Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
