I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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