He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
