Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
