But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
grandma shit on top of the toilet
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
