God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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