i don't like sucking hair
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I need moral support for this bender
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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