Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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