Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
