I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
