He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
