if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
