BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
