Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
