So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Randomize
