I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
