last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
