He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
