Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
