I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
