We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
