Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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