the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
