If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
