I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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