i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
