Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
