All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
