I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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