I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
