Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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