We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
