I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
