I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
