at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
