Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
