she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
