do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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